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Toronto Star
September 5, 2004
Three Of Hearts – Peter Howell
Gay or straight, married or single, monogamous or polygamous - it doesn’t matter what labels you give yourself in the ongoing battles over sexual identity and family values.
You won’t be able to watch Susan Kaplan’s eye-opening documentary about three people in one marriage without constantly recalibrating your ethical compass.
The New York filmmaker goes beyond the rhetoric of today’s modern marriage debates to spend quality time - eight years in total - with three fellow Manhattanites who are trying to prove that two-person marital unions are outdated and uptight. The outcome of the experiment is unpredictable, but not the debate that is sure to rage after festival screenings.
Three Of Hearts: a postmodern family introduces us to Sam Cagnina, the 20-something son of a Mafia hitman, who falls in love with the younger and easily swayed Steven Margolin. They two soon move in together and happily make a home.
Sam considers himself gay, but he also feels something is missing in his life. He suggests to Steven that it would be interesting to add a shot of estrogen to their love nest, by inviting a woman to join their relationship. “I really love the feeling of monogamy with more than one person,” Sam reasons, redefining the language.
Steven is reluctant at first - he’s been with women, but prefers men - yet he submits to Sam’s will. A long quest begins to find a suitable female partner, and eventually the hetero-but-hopeful Samantha Singh (formerly of Toronto) joins the clan. She talks about how she hated being treated as a tomboy growing up: “I was everybody’s buddy.”
To her surprise, Samantha falls in love with both Sam and Steven, and they with her, and they begin building a life together - which includes marriage, children and running a health-care business. All is good ... until human nature starts to interfere.
Potential viewers of Three Of Hearts may feel they already know where they stand on the various gender and family issues. But Kaplan introduces elements, gleaned from long observations of her surprisingly open participants, that will challenge both the radical and the righteous.
You may personally be in favour of gay marriage, but what about gay-plus-hetero threesomes? You may rail at the flouting of institutions, but would you separate parent and child to protect the so-called norm? Do the opinions of family members matter? And is it enough to simply adopt a live-and-let-live attitude?
Kaplan’s film can be compared to last year’s Capturing The Friedmans for the way it gets deep into the psyches of both its subjects and its viewers. She refuses to judge Sam, Steve and Samantha, but she also declines to let them or us off the hook. We’re all in this together, a mesmerizing reminder of just how complicated life can be - especially times three.
